PREMATURE EMPTY NEST SYNDROME (Let go and Let God)

This past Monday we witnessed our little one going into the world and it was pretty hard.  For months, hubby and I have been talking about our baby girl’s first day of pre-school and yet, we were so emotionally unprepared.  It was a messy sentimental turmoil.  From joy and pride to sadness and emptiness, we were just so fragile and helpless.  Walking away from my little one as she followed me trying to hold unto my leg was so heartbreaking.  Then, having to say good-bye as her silent tears rolled down her cheeks was very distressing.  We’ve been through this before (with our first-born) and we know that she’ll be perfectly o.k. But how do you make your heart understand that concept?  Letting go of your most precious treasure is truly hard to do.  Silent was the best way to deal with our emotions.  We hardly spoke a word as my hubby drove me to work afterwards.  Now that both our kids are off to school we were having a taste of what the empty nest may feel like.  Too dramatic?  You may think so, but as one of the P&G commercials during the 2012 Olympics said:  “you’ll have to excuse me but I’m a mom” 

For now, those 3 hours that our baby girl is at school seem pretty long.  But to see her go and comeback happy and excited is priceless.  Yes, letting go is hard to do, but we believe that it’s also the best thing to do in order to raise independent and self-reliant people.  So, how do we cope with it? We “Let Go and Let God.” We’ve leaned to entrust our kids in God’s hand as we firmly believe that He’s with them wherever they go.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.  Deuteronomy 31:6

CLOSER

I’m so enjoying my son’s 7s!  This summer, we are teaching him independence by giving him more responsibilities.  He’s really doing a great job and my hubby and I couldn’t be any more proud. Having long talks with him has also become a new routine.  He really enjoys listening to my stories of when I was a little kid.  So, yesterday I took these conversations to a new level and shared a big part of my heart.  June 26 would’ve been my mother’s 76th birthday.  I normally keep a low profile on this subject (mother).  But yesterday was different; I felt that after 10 years of not celebrating her birthday, I was strong enough to talk to my son about her.  So I brought my photo album and showed my son one of my favorite pictures.  My mother and I at the beach when I was 3 years old.  So we went on and on about me growing up and how I miss my mom.  The long conversation ended with such a meaningful hug from him.  We had connected in a new level.  Knowing more about me, brings him closer to me.  Opening my heart to him, brings me closer to him. 

When I think about our relationship with God, this concept on taking us to the next level has been his idea since the beginning of time.  He's already opened up his heart and wants us to know more about him. The question is would I embrace him like my son embraced me?

The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. Jeremiah 31:3

UNNOTICED BLESSINGS

I’m mixed with sadness and joy after hearing the most compelling story of a mother of 3yr old girl who recorded her daughter’s final sounds.  The little girl had to have a tracheotomy as a life-saving surgery which disabled her ability to speak or make any sounds.  Though this family has been blessed with the gift of time, it breaks my heart to listen to the mother explain how she misses her little girl’s laughter and cry.

These kind of stories make me stop and be thankful for the many blessing that go unnoticed every second of my life.  Just the past week I was upset with my kids because they were laughing so loud in the car while I was having a conversation with my girlfriend.  Yes, I AM responsible to teach my kids good manners, but sometimes, I get so caught up in my parenting duties that I forget to sit back and enjoy my children just being children. Their innocence laughter, their loud talk, their sweet little voices calling me mommy either cause they’re happy to see me or cause they need my help, their cries when they get hurt or are scared…I’m forever thankful for my wonderful perfectly NOISY kids!

Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! 2 Corinthians 9:15

Photo by Vibel Photography

IN HONOR OF MY MOTHER

I love getting all caught up in the many different mother’s day celebrations.  In a sense, celebrating my own motherhood becomes a therapy that lessens the pain and sorrow of my mother’s absence.  I rarely speak a word about my mother and to this day I have not been back to the cemetery.  It’s been 10 years and I’m still dealing with her loss.  Many nights I have waken up in the middle of the night calling out to her with tears running down my cheeks and this almost unbearable pain pressing down my chest.  If only I had a penny for the many times I’ve picked up the phone to call her these past 10 years.  She’s in my dreams, she’s in my thoughts, she’s in my mind.  She’s everywhere in my life and her memory will be forever carried on by the tributes of my actions.  I might have adapted to my environment, but I’m still my mother’s child.  So, as I walk on the most difficult yet enjoyable journey of my life, I shall honor her everyday of my life.  And what better way to honor her than by living a life dedicated to my Lord Jesus Christ just the way she did.   Happy Mother’s Day Mami Lidia!

MOMMY ON THE GO!

I’m a working mom always on the go!  I try to disregard the guilt of not being a stay home mom thinking that with our current economy that’s not a possibility for now.  But I really enjoy motherhood; I always have.  I was so born to do this.  So, to compensate the guilt of not being able to absorb every second of my kid’s life, I call in sick now and then or just get off work early to spend extra time with them.  But, kids don’t always need us around.  I’m learning that as they grow they start handling their own agenda.  I know is the most natural thing in the circle of life: detaching from our parents.  I mean, I did it too.  I will continue to find extra time here and there and to be as involved as possible in my kids’ life. That was my goal even before they were born.  But I will learn to set boundaries and encourage their independence.  I’m sure there will always be opportunities in which they’ll run to my arms.  And I plan to soak in those moments for my love for them is an everlasting love.

I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.  Jeremiah 31:3

A REFLECTION OF ME

Are your children anything like you?  I know mine are in so many dimensions.  Physically, though more daddy-like, there are features here and there or grins and gestures that are just so me.  But what amazes me the most is their personalities.  Scientists have shown through DNA testing “that half of our personality traits are hard-wired into our genes.”  I’m not a scientist, but as a mom, I totally agree with this statement. 

My little one is a strong-willed, independent and extremely feminine girl.  In other words, she’s practically a mini-me, except for her timid and less a of a risk-taker trait which she inherited from my hubby.  As for my boy, he’s just as insanely artistic as me.  His love for art, specially drawing, is totally my gene!  Yet, he’s mellow, sensitive and reserved like his dad. Isn’t it amazing how our children totally reflect us, and yet they’re their own unique self?  I sit in disbelief every day just observing how God’s human creation is just so perfect and how we are all a reflection of Him.  A reflection so perfectly embedded with so much love which could never be replicated by mankind.  I’m so thankful for my existence and even more thankful for the existence of my children.  There is no doubt in my mind that mankind was created after God’s own heart.

Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us… So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:26a-27

Mother-Child Bond

What is the secret of Motherhood?  Why are we so emotionally attached to our mothers?  I truly believe that God intended this way.  After all, He chose us to carry the most precious of all his creation in our wombs!  The 40 weeks of gestation are not just growth and development of a new being but also the building up of a relationship that should nurture our inner need of unconditional love an acceptance.  And with that in mind, I must admit that cultivating and strengthening this bond is hard work which should never be taken lightly.  Research from the University of Illinois published in 2008 showed that “children who have a strong attachment to their mothers go on to form stronger relationships as they grow older.”  This is a win-win situation if you ask me.  In other words, our willingness to dedicate ourselves to our children will pay off in the form of confident, positive, strong well rounded individuals.  Of course, there are other pieces to the puzzle and most importantly “limits.”  But for today, all I wan to say is let’s cuddle, chitchat, eat together, play, watch movies, use every opportunity as educational moment and spend the most time possible with our children.  Don’t forget that they do, indeed, grow TOO fast.

Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.  Proverbs 22:6