|1ST GRADE - AUGUST 8, 2011|
Today, my firstborn, as you begin 1st grade I can’t help to feel a bit melancholic. I see your excitement as your new Darth Vader alarm wakes you up at 6:45 a.m., and I also see your fear of the unknown. Daddy holds you tight in his arms while reassuring that everything is going to be o.k. I know deep in my heart that everything is going to be o.k., but just like you, I’m also fearful. I fear for your safety as you’re 6 yrs old now and will probably try more adventures tricks and stunts. I fear for your appetite and eating habits as you’re so selective and will have to wait longer to be home and have your favorite meals. I fear for your innocence as 1st grade is not just the beginning of serious academic learning, but also a window into wicked things that mommy and daddy have protected you from all these years. But most of all, I fear that I will loose you.
We walk you to the door of classroom #2. Mr. Hatter, your new teacher, is greeting all the parents that like us are there to show support to our “maturing” scholars. You still look a little shy and confuse till you see your friend Brian Sanders. That’s when you let go of Mommy’s and Daddy’s hand. You’re so static to see some of those little faces you met in Kindergarten…And I’m relieved to see you in your comfort zone. It’s also kind of funny to see so many parents like us, just lingering around, showing pride, but at the same time weakness in letting go off their kids. And there it is, that moment, when Mr. Hatters instructs all the scholars to go into the classroom. I see you smiling, I see you happy, I see you walking through that door of classroom # 2 without looking back. There is not time to wave goodbye. I look through the tinted window trying to catch your eyes but am too late. I know there are still a few years before you leave the nest but as dramatic as it sounds, this is indeed a symbolic separation
What am I left to do? What’s the best option? I close my eyes and I ask God to protect you from the seen and unseen danger, to keep you safe and to give you the wisdom you will need when making your own choices. I humbly ask God to take care of you as mommy and daddy are not there to watch over you, to pick you up, to comfort you, to feed you. I humbly ask the Lord to broaden my discernment and to help me be as supportive. I ask the Lord to help your dad and I be the best parents for you as your soul has been entrusted in our hands. I ask God to give me peace in knowing that letting go is part of the growing-up process and as long as He’s in control we’ll be just fine.