CHRISTMAS CAROLING LIKE NEVER BEFORE

Last night we had the pleasure to go Christmas caroling at a senior retirement center with a group of women that attend our bible studies (vine groups).  This experience has brought so much joy and sorrow to my heart at the same time, it’s overwhelming.   I was so thrill with the idea of singing.  But to go singing Christmas carols was just beyond excitement!  I was too thrill to even begin to imagine what the night had instore for us.

Upon our arrival we did feel the inconvenience of not being able to gather all the seniors in one big room.  Instead, we were asked to just go caroling in the halls or into their rooms.  And so we did.  As inconvenient as it was, as strenuous as it was to our voices, we sang over and over and over at many different rooms.  Each time, our hearts were touched by those wrinkle faces, brightened by our singing.  They’re sad lonely expressions would immediately turned into this almost childlike excitement at the rhythm of the songs!  Their eyes would open up wider and some even sang along.  All thanked us and hugged us so warmly, just being grateful that we took some time to “display” kindness and joy.  Some cried as no one had come to visit them in a while let along bring some cheerful times.  And it dawn on me!  I couldn’t hold the tears anymore.  Wasn’t inconvenient for God to send his only son to be born in this wicked world?  Wasn’t’ inconvenient for Jesus to suffer and die at the cross for our sins?  The list of inconveniences that my savior had to encounter goes on and on.   And yet, He faced them each without complaints or regrets, but rather with so much love and compassion. 

I truly believe in my heart that all things happen for a reason.  Our experience last night was a real eye opener.  I felt God’s love and compassion like never before and at the same time; I saw the need of the forgotten ones, those in their final stage of life.  It might have been inconvenient, but it was so worth it!

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them,
because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd
Matthew 9:36

You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.
Luke 6:36

You shall stand up before the gray head and honor the face of an old man.  Leviticus 19:32

MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN

Today, November 23, is our 9^th wedding anniversary.  A few of the many things that I have learned through these wonderful years are:

• The fusion of two lives takes a lot of work
• Men are from Mars and women are from Venus
• Making up after a fight is great!
• The road gets bumpy from time to time
• We do belong together!

The list gets longer and better, but I’ve chosen to leave those for our 10^th anniversary.  Needless to say, I’m so grateful to God for placing a wonderful man in my life. These nine years have truly been a pleasant learning experience.  Sometimes it feels so surreal as though I was trapped in a wonderful dream. When did this happen?  When did I stop being a little girl who completely depended on her mom and took over the role of a wife and a mother?   The responsibility is enormous, but the joy of accomplishment is greater, especially when God is the center of it all.

I love my husband with all my heart.  He truly completes me and makes me look forward to spend a life time with him. I also love the small wonderful family that we have formed.  I vow once again to be there for better or for worst till the end of times.  Cheers to a match made in heaven!

IT TAKES A WHOLE VILLAGE….

An old proverb says that it takes a whole village to raise a child, unfortunately for the past two year, in our village there have only been my husband and I.  I’ve been saddened by this situation from time to time but it always comes down to the fact that my kids are blessed to be surrounded by both loving parents.  In a world where 1/3 of our children live only with one parent, we’re more than blessed and completely grateful to God.  I, myself, come from a dysfunctional family.  My dad left for a better job opportunity when I was 8 and didn’t see him again until I was 15.  

As parents, God has been there for us every step of the way, but as more often than not, we tend to rely more on the visible only to be flat face disappointed.  This past year has been specially challenging for us as we moved into our own place far away from friends and family. We were excited at first until finding babysitters became an issued.  So many times I’ve gotten frustrated by the inability to go out on a date with my husband, or simply going to the store without having to drag our kids along.  No biggies, right? Or not?  Are my kids missing out in some major spoiling, indulging and pampering?  Do my kids ever crave the attentions of other adults?  

Just yesterday, as we’re driving back home from church, my 3 year old baby girl, tells me that she has a new uncle and that his name is Uncle Robert.  Robert, who is a member of our new church and his wife have been so warmhearted.  My Debbie was so excited about it that it broke my heart as I felt so helpless.  This is not the first time that she tries to recruit others to be part of her village.  A couple of months ago, coincidentally, she was calling Robert’s mother in-law “grandma.”  She’s also constantly seeking our pastor’s wife approval by dressing in her favorite color: purple.  And then, there is also my son.  Just this past Saturday, he was trying so hard to get our pastor’s attention to let him know that he had made it to the principal’s honor roll on his first trimester in 1^st grade.

As hurtful as it sounds, my kids do crave for other people's attention.  I now do see that it does take a village to raise a child and in lack thereof, I can only turn to God for help.   My prayer request is for our Lord to provide such village filled with honest, loving, caring people of God.  

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.  Matthew 7:7

LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND

My 3yr old daughter has been so attached to me since the day she was born.  Honestly, I only wanted boys, but God in his perfect will, blessed my life with a little princess.  Little did I know what a strong bond was going to be developed between us.  I really find it extraordinary how deep and unconditional her love for me is.  Daddy, on the other hand, doesn’t quite delight in our relationship.  During my second pregnancy he yearned to have a baby girl and be able to enjoy the father & daughter special connection.  Unfortunately during her first two years the love has not been entirely reciprocate. No matter how much effort he has put into getting her attention, she always runs to mommy.  Most of our friends have always pointed out how abnormal our family is as our 6yr old boy is all over dad and our little princess can't survive without mom.  After all, it is well known that boys prefer their mom and girls their dads, which in turns makes us atypical family.  A few months ago, as we were purchasing some furniture, the salesman at the store offered my husband the following advice:  “Just be patient, in a few years, she will only have eyes for you and YOU only!”  I'm not certain if he believed him or not, but surely he's been anxiously waiting for that day. 

I must admit that he's gotten somewhat of a progress during the past 8 months or so.  She now actually enjoys spending time with dad and will even firmly admit that she loves Mommy and Daddy too!  I could see the sparkles in my hubby's eyes when our little princess seems to be finally falling for him…even though mommy is still her favorite.  It's such a nice warm feeling to be an spectator of the whole ordeal.  It actually makes me feel so complete. You see, my dad was very unfortunate to have missed out on my childhood, which in turn has made me desire to not just find a soul mate but a man who would make a great father too.  I’ve prayed for our kids to be able to have that strong adventurous yet warmhearted male figure in their lives. And though they don't understand it yet, I know that one day they'll be so grateful to God for having had such a great man to complete their lives. Yes, my husband is just all that I ever wished for and more!

                                                                                               

I can’t help but to think that in the same manner that my husband so patiently awaits for our daughter to come around, so does God await on each soul to turn to him. His love for us is so infinite and incomprehensible.  But I assure you, that once you open up the door to his everlasting love there are no regrets.

To end my story I must say that patience does pays off!  This past Saturday, our little princess actually chose to go with Daddy to the Home Depot store instead of staying home with mommy.  It was one of those special moments that will be treasured forever and I'm just glad that for a change my hubby got to enjoy those butterfly kisses that I'm always writing about.

“The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake…”  2 Peter 3:9a

“..may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. ¹⁹ May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Ephesians 3:18-19

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MOM AND DAD INTERRUPTED

On Saturday we had a “long over due” couples’ night.  Javi and I went out bowling with two other couples and stayed out from 7p.m. – 11:30 p.m.  At around 10:45 p.m., I got a call from our niece who was babysitting, that my 3yr old Debbie was crying inconsolably calling out for Mama.  We had stopped for a late bite and a chat after bowling.  Needless to say, we rush through our meal as we couldn’t stay anymore…our concentration was gone 14.09 miles east.  We excused ourselves and raced through the highway. You see, normally (which is not seldom) we only leave them for 2 to 3 hours, How dare we took an extra hour or so?  By the time we made it to my sister in-law’s house, Debbie had already cried herself to sleep and Jesse was a bit anxious but sort of entertained watching a movie with his cousins.  We took them to our van and as I was buckling Debbie she woke up and gave me such a beautiful smile.  I could tell she was really happy to know I was back already.  What a warm feeling!  It’s so amazing and almost incomprehensible that these little creatures are so attached to us, parents.  I felt my soul shrink, she had melted my heart. 

Now I’m left to wonder if I depend on God as much as my kids depend on us.  How many times have I missed Him so much that all I want is to see Him, to hear Him and to feel His arms around me?  Have I ever had such loving gestures that would melt my Father’s heart?  I hope I have, because I surely love Him, but I do recognize that I need to completely surrender to His love and will with my all my being every single day of my life.

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, Luke 10:27

LETTER TO MY SON JESSE

1ST GRADE - AUGUST 8, 2011

Today, my firstborn, as you begin 1^st grade I can’t help to feel a bit melancholic.  I see your excitement as your new Darth Vader alarm wakes you up at 6:45 a.m., and I also see your fear of the unknown.  Daddy holds you tight in his arms while reassuring that everything is going to be o.k.  I know deep in my heart that everything is going to be o.k., but just like you, I’m also fearful.  I fear for your safety as you’re 6 yrs old now and will probably try more adventures tricks and stunts.  I fear for your appetite and eating habits as you’re so selective and will have to wait longer to be home and have your favorite meals.  I fear for your innocence as 1^st grade is not just the beginning of serious academic learning, but also a window into wicked things that mommy and daddy have protected you from all these years.  But most of all, I fear that I will loose you. 

We walk you to the door of classroom #2.  Mr. Hatter, your new teacher, is greeting all the parents that like us are there to show support to our “maturing” scholars.  You still look a little shy and confuse till you see your friend Brian Sanders.  That’s when you let go of Mommy’s and Daddy’s hand.  You’re so static to see some of those little faces you met in Kindergarten…And I’m relieved to see you in your comfort zone.  It’s also kind of funny to see so many parents like us, just lingering around, showing pride, but at the same time weakness in letting go off their kids.  And there it is, that moment, when Mr. Hatters instructs all the scholars to go into the classroom.  I see you smiling, I see you happy, I see you walking through that door of classroom # 2 without looking back.  There is not time to wave goodbye.  I look through the tinted window trying to catch your eyes but am too late.  I know there are still a few years before you leave the nest but as dramatic as it sounds, this is indeed a symbolic separation

What am I left to do?  What’s the best option? I close my eyes and I ask God to protect you from the seen and unseen danger, to keep you safe and to give you the wisdom you will need when making your own choices.  I humbly ask God to take care of you as mommy and daddy are not there to watch over you, to pick you up, to comfort you, to feed you.  I humbly ask the Lord to broaden my discernment and to help me be as supportive.  I ask the Lord to help your dad and I be the best parents for you as your soul has been entrusted in our hands.  I ask God to give me peace in knowing that letting go is part of the growing-up process and as long as He’s in control we’ll be just fine.  

Love,

Mamá



WHERE IS TIME GONE?

I have found myself extremely busy in the last few weeks.  I really thought I was going to keep up with the blogging thing, but as it turns out, age had taken its toll on me.  I used to be able to juggle an overbooked agenda, sleep a couple of hours and be so energized like the bunny....  Now I can barely keep up with my daily routine, social life and our service life to our church.  I have been on total denial, but my body actions are speaking louder than my words.  I find this demanding life, however, extremely pleasant and full of so many exciting moments and amazing blessing that I would not change it for anything in the world.  The Lord has been so abundantly merciful to me, my kids are just so wonderfully incredible and my husband is the most adoring man.  Do they give me a headache?  Of course (with the exception of God, who actually takes care of my headaches)  To be fair, is all mutual, I receive and I give (still talking about the headaches).  But in the midst of all the problems, chaos and silly upsetting moments, I find peace, love and pleasure in knowing that God has provided me with a normal family and that He’s surrounding us with his everlasting compassion.  So, at the end of the day, if I have to hit the snooze button a million times, I know is o.k.  I may be aging, but I'm living my life to the fullest and is all for Him and through Him and it’s 100% worth it!

2 Corinthians 5:1–8 (NLT), “For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands.

Road Surprise in a Jiffy!

Is 7:25 a.m. and I‘m a block away from my office when the red light goes on and I come to a complete stop.  My 4 miles morning commute to work includes air1 at full blast, me singing aloud or laughing at the comments and the A/C on as it is summer time in the Inland Empire.  So, it was a real surprise when the light changes to green and my car stalls on me.  The radio is off, the A/C is off, and I seem to be off as my brain tries to react to the unexpected.  Total denial!  I cannot believe the battery just died on me on the busiest street of Rancho Cucamonga.  I’m a block away from work for crying out loud!  Couldn’t Ravita (I named my cars) have just run for one more block and then rest in the parking lot?  I turn the hazard lights on and all I can hear is people who are going to be late to work honking at me as if I could do something about it.  I keep turning the ignition holding the clutch and pushing the gas pedal while asking God for help. All of the sudden I hear and feel a big loud bump on the back of my car.  Did somebody just hit me? 

Well, the story goes like this: I did get rear-ended and it all just happened in a couple of minutes but it sure felt like an eternity.  I’m confused as I don’t see how or why this 2008 Lexus LS would decide to make a grand stop inside my trunk.  Now then, nothing really happened to either car, thank God! I do have whiplash and light headache which is very normal after our fragile bodies go through such ordeal in seconds.  The strangest feeling of déjà-vu has come to me.  Just a few nights ago I had dreams of car accident and deaths. I have decided, however, that this minor accident will not ruin my day.  I will not allow this trail to take ownership over myself.  Instead, I got to push myself and rejoice in the wonders of God.  Like my husband reassured me over the phone, I’m still alive and in good condition, that alone is the greatest blessing that God is granted me today. I cannot wait to see what else He’s got in store for me.  My family and I “have decided to fully trust in Jesus Christ to work his miracle in our lives.” (M. MacIntosh)

Sammy Rodriguez just mentioned the other day that trials in our lives are a sign of being in the right place at the right time doing the work that God has called us to do.   And as my friend Janeth texted me this morning: “You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”  1 John 4:4

What’s a Butterfly Kiss, Anyway?

A butterfly kiss is that gentle feeling of the wings brushing against your cheeks, yet so powerful that it shivers your innermost.  That’s exactly what my muffin heads (cabezonsitos) do to me every single time.  I have to say that the reward of being a parent is pleasantly relived through those special moments.  

I had a butterfly kiss last night when putting my kids to sleep, and I’m still electrified by it.  Our daily bed time routine includes using the restroom, brushing our teeth, reading two books (1 for each kid) and saying a prayer. They each say their own prayer, but I always let them know of any special request so they may include it.  Debbie always cracks me up as her gentle prayers include from movies and cartoon characters to the neighbor’s dogs.  Don’t think I’m a bad parent, I don’t laugh out loud.  I hold it in and then talk about it afterwards with Javier, my husband.  Jesse, on the other hand, has such a compassionate approach to his prayers.  He doesn’t just pray for his family, friends and the pastors.  He prays for the church, for the vine groups, for the city for crying out loud!  It is really a gift.

Last night’s request was a bit complex.  But after explaining that daddy was at the hospital visiting a friend whose sister was very ill, they got the concept.  After all, they are brother and sister and understood the relevance of it all.  As we closed our eyes I listened to my son’s simple powerful words when all of the sudden I feel the brushing against my cheeks and my heart shivering…there it was as he exclaimed: Jesus, please help Carlos’s sister.  She’s at the hospital right now, but I know that you’re the best doctor ever!”  The kiss, I had a butterfly kiss that electrified my whole being and shake up my faith. I can only imagine how God must have felt to see how much He means to his little boy.

But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.  Luke 18:16

  New hair, New Me 

Beauty is a major part of my DNA.  I love to get pedicures and manicures, change my hair color and shop for the latest trends in fashion.  I love to dress up!  High heels, skirts, dresses, nice tops for my jeans, make up (even if I’m just home); these are all a big part of my life. Like the song says “antes muerta que sencilla” (that’s Spanish for I rather be dead than be simple).  But keeping up with these demands can be such a drag, both, in my pocket and my schedule.  I don’t just have to worry about me anymore, there is my lovely husband and my kids whom I love to see clean, fashionable and well groomed.  I’m sure that parents will identify with me when I prefer to buy an outfit for my kids instead of me.  So, when I get something done or buy something new, is such a real treat that I rejoice on it for days.

This week I’m in such rejoicing mood.  On Sunday we received a very inspiring message on how God has given us a new name, a new purpose in life and a new future.  So I decided to complete the package and get a new hair do. I’m so grateful to God that I have inherited a wonderful niece who recently graduated from beauty school.  Lesly is not only a graduate but she’s truly gifted in this area.  Unfortunately,  as it always is, only a few have been able to see the change, one of them being my hubby.  Though I’m not quite sure if he did notice the change or it was more like pressure because he went with me to get my hair done.  Either way, I love it when he compliments me.  So my hair is shorter and darker and in layers and I LOVE IT. How can you not see the change? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not desperate for attention.  Is just something that’s gotten me thinking deeper and deeper. 

My baby girl, on the other hand, is not quite happy with her haircut.  Mind you that she’s only 3 years old!  Anyhow, it was her choice to get a haircut and as we were carrying on a conversation, she sat on the chair and exclaimed “I go first Lesly!  I decided to let her get her bangs trimmed.  She was done in a second so she demanded her cousin to cut more: “more, more…cut more Leslie. Ay, ay, ay!  I can only imagine what she’ll be like in a few years. 

As much as I know that appearances and first impressions are important, I also believe that God looks at the inside not the outside.  At the end of the day, my questions should be if people have seen the change in my life? Have they seen the strength and love that motivates me every second of my life?  Have they seen the new me?  I have known the Lord for quite some time, but His word says that He renews us and molds us every single day.  That means that the people around me should be able to see those improvements.  I’m not perfect, but my life in working progress in His perfect hands.  I should be more like my little Debbie, be first in line and have a passionate desire for more.  I should exclaim with my innermost  “I want more, Jesus!”  

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.  Phil 1:6



Mid Yeear, New Blessings

Have you ever heard that everybody should write a book, plant a tree and have a kid?  From this list, I can corroborate that I have given birth to two kids and have planted flowers and shrubs, although I’m not sure if they honestly count as planting a tree.  So what is left to do before the end of times?  Write a book!  This idea has been navigating in my head for quite some time.  But more than a book, I have strongly desire to start my own blog.  Would this count as writing a book?  Maybe not, but it’s a beginning of a special chapter in my life.

I guess I have finally overcome the fear of what would others think of my writing.  Believe me, my writing skills were brutally smashed to pieces during my first year of college.  I remember spending days researching and typing my very first essay after having graduated with honors from high school, only to get it back with a big ugly red “D” on it.  The pain was unbearable back then, but now, is just a memory saved in my brain’s hard drive.  Who is going to grade me now?  Is it worth it to give it a try? Would my life happenings and stories be able to help others?  I don’t really have the answers to my questions yet, but this I know, it will at least suffice the hunger in my soul to type away my thoughts, my stories and my most inner feelings.

They say that is better late than never and I have now taken ownership over this phrase.  Today I have not only started my blog, but also have taken the first steps toward revamping my fitness and building a much stronger relationship with my Creator (I went for a walk this morning while having a devotional time).  I know, it is the Middle of the year, but in God’s eyes, today is a new day and a new opportunity to enjoy his countless blessings.  Enjoy!

Many, LORD my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare. Psalm 40:5